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aremo aripersonal Life

Raw

12 years.

They say time heals all pain, but I guess 12 years just isn’t even enough for me to even smile about it.

It really hurts when someone who is suppose to care for you & love you unconditionally decides that they don’t want anything to do with you anymore and leaves you and your family without much thought & consideration.

The feeling is still just too raw. I rarely talk about it with anyone, and when I do, I’m always close to tears.

I’ve had people ask me if I’ve asked my dad to be at the wedding. I tell them that I’ve told my brother to tell him (since he has more contact with him anyway) and usually they would just back off.

Then there are the usual persistent family members who go all,
” aww… But he’s your dad. You should tell him personally… Bla bla,”

Seriously?! I’m only even asking him out of courtesy. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t have a father. He may have been someone who gave me life, but I don’t ever remember him being “fatherly” or in fact, present in my life much. I was raised by my mom to be the person I am today, no thanks to him.

So you go around saying stuff like, “but he’s your dad, you should keep in touch with him,” but I don’t see you making an effort into doing the same. So just drop it. Why should I waste my energy on someone who doesn’t want or care to be in my life?

Just thinking about this makes me so angry and sick to my stomach (from all the pent up emotions). If I hadn’t have gotten out when I was younger, I think I would have turned out a lot more dysfunctional.

I wish some people would just stop bringing this up. I will share when I’m ready to share. I think pretty soon I would have to go to therapy just to unload all of these emotional baggage. D:

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aremo aripersonal Life

At the beginning…

Danny and I celebrated our 8th anniversary on the 11th June 2011. It was also the day that he decided to propose to me. 🙂

The proposal wasn’t really super romantic, but I guess it was romantic enough for me. It started after our anniversary dinner, when we got home. He had asked me what could’ve made the day even more special. I told him the day was special enough. He humored me by taking me to Aquaria to see the fishes. We walked around Pavilion, and we had a yummy anniversary dinner. But in my head, I was wishing for a proposal. I mean, after 8 years, wouldn’t you too? I was ready to spend the rest of my life with him, but I do know that he didn’t seem like he was ready, so I let the subject go.

So when he asked me to close my eyes and turned off the light, I got a tad scared. He then asked me to open my eyes and there it was, the words I never thought he would say (so soon!) written on FB.

” Will you marry me?”

I was stunned. I wasn’t jumping up and down screaming YES!! But I did hug him and peeped a barely audible yes. XD It was incredibly surreal. Even after waking up the next day, I felt like it was a dream. It wasn’t until I saw the ring again that I truly thought, “wow! It really happened.” I have no words to describe the feeling. It is incredibly weird on one hand, yet normal on the other.

Danny says the ring is just to “officiate” everything. I mean, almost everyone I know thinks of us as a married couple already. So yes, a lot of planning in the near future. It’s also a scary feeling, not knowing what to expect. We’ve yet to settle on a date as we’re looking at a good date according to the Chinese calendar. 🙂

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aremo aripersonal Life

Another year…

So another year has gone by. Plans were derailed a little, but soon got back on track.

Had my birthday dinner at Munakata Japanese restaurant which is located at jalan sultan Ismail ( where kl live center is) and I must say, the food is pretty good. Their menu is both ala carte as well as buffet so we had our fill. Only rant is that they forgot to put my ice cream cake in their freezer, so it melted. 🙁

Surrounded myself with my usual gang of friends ( plus brother & mom) and had a laugh cos everyone in attendance was required to wear the kitteh hat & gloves which I brought along.

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Me thinks the kitty paws has magical powahs! The Bf seemed to enjoy donning them had was doing random cat poses in them. XD Another person enchanted by them paws was tootie. XD

So another year older and I still don’t know what i wanna do with my life. Currently everything is just feeling so mundane. Maybe after I graduate, I wanna just take a break before going to work. I’m feeling a little afraid of what the future holds. Funny, right?

Ive got so much in my head right now and I dont know what to write down. Don’t know why I’ve been feeling sad most times now even when I have absolutely no reason to be. :s I don’t know why am I experiencing this emotional rollercoaster again. :/

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aripersonal Life

Sorry for being M.I.A

Haven’t really been updating much due to internship. Yes, I’ve finally started and work’s been hectic, especially when there’s new stock to be taken. Otherwise, it’s been good. The downside, however, is the long work hours (10am-8pm) and the 6 day workday. 🙁 I come home by 8.30pm most days and have dinner, then shower and by the time I actually get to do anything else, it’s already 12am. o.O!

And FINALLY, a holiday to Singapore again! Weeee~ my brother’s coming with too. Don’t know how well we’d get along, but we’ll see. 😛 And it seems that I’ve only been traveling with the guys. XD Mmm.. the organizers of AFA aren’t very smart this time around. :S They forgot to tell people where to buy their tickets. >:( They should have pre-sales/online sales for international visitors too, but so far we haven’t heard anything…*mumbles to self*

Anyway, off to go catch up on my rest day. 😀

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aremo aripersonal randoms

I am thankful

Sometimes I forget that I have so much going on for me.

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aremo aripersonal Life

No f*ckin title

I swear, it’s times like these that I feel that it’s just not worth it.

Comments off.

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aremo aripersonal randoms rants

HolyMoly~

I need to think of things to update. I think my brain has probably turned into goo. =.=” Gotta sleep in the “guest room” surrounded by tons of stuff cos they’re still doing up our room. Our toilet is none existent right now cos they’ve removed all the tiles, “throne” and shower. It’s also incredibly dusty… but at least the drilling has stopped. (or maybe it’s cos I’m away at college)

Still am pretty busy, with college work and work placement and all. I’ve finally submitted my internship form. I dunno if I made the right choices though. *scared* I really wouldn’t mind going to Singapore to intern, but it’s the whole cost of living and such. If I didn’t have to worry about that, well, I wouldn’t mind interning anywhere. *sigh* Anyone in SG willing to put me up for 3 months? XD

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aripersonal

25

On Saturday night, I had my pre-birthday celebration dinner. Location, Souled Out @ Hartamas. Little did I know it would probably be one of the biggest mistakes ever. Apparently they had an event which took up the whole ground floor and on top of that, there was a footie game on (Man U vs. Chelsea). *dies* As you can see, I’m not a football/soccer fan.

Don’t get me wrong. The food there is pretty good. The company, even better. But I would’ve liked to have an audible conversation with the people at my table. 🙁 *Note to self: Next time, check if there’s any major event that usually requires loud speakers and projector screens.

So anyway, we had nachos and those were yummy! I wish I had ordered a whole plate to myself. 😛 My carbonara was alright, but I prefer the ones served at Marco’s Pizza. Love their lava cake! Sinfully amazing! >.<” Just talking about it makes me crave for it. 🙁

They all sang me a Happy Birthday song with me wearing a hat with candles on em. o.O Kinda threw me off, and it made me forget the fact that it wasn’t actually my birthday yet. Haha. But I’m very happy to be able to spend the day with people I hardly see (well, most of them anyway. :P)

Today though, was spent sleeping in till 9:30am ( I woke up earlier than my alarm!) and going to SS2 for lunch. Then off to Tropicana City Mall for a movie. Saw Clash of the Titans, which I thought was meh. *scrunches nose* The trailer looked more promising than the actual movie.

Alright, my eyes are closing on me now. I have to go to class tomoro and get some work done. :S Am happy because a ton of people messaged me on FB wishing me. 🙂

I am OFFICIALLY 25.

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aremo aripersonal randoms

Random pre-birthday post

Another year older. I can’t believe I’m already 25(!!!). Not till tomoro, at least.

I think as you get older, birthday celebrations mean less.

As you get older, birthday presents become less. Your circle of friends, too, will dwindle.

My birthdays now are usually laid back dinners with a few selected people. No big hoo ha like last time. I wonder when we hit the age of 50, would we be gathering around the round table exchanging stories (like we see most often in Chinese restaurants). Lol.

Scary thought.

I know I’m not making much sense in this post. Just felt like being incoherent and random.

Gonna have my birthday dinner tonight with a couple of people (by a couple, I mean 8). Nothing exciting. Just wanna enjoy each others company and play some Munchkins after that. =.=! I’m becoming such a geek.

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aripersonal

Mushy pre-Vday post

Valentine’s Day is around the corner. So is the Chinese New Year!

Anyway, this year would be the 7th year the S.O and I have been together. I know 7 years is a long time. Even I am amazed myself as this is by far the longest romantic relationship I’ve ever had.

The S.O and I met through a mutual friend a long long time ago. Actually, I first spoke to him on msn… on dial-up. FML

I admit that I was a little narrow-minded when I was younger, so everything he said irked me. He and the mutual friend enjoyed teasing me and so I was the center of attention (albeit in the wrong way. =.=”) But still even with all the teasing, I still enjoyed talking to him and we even set a date to meet up for the very first time. 🙂

I’d like to think that what brought us together was our mutual love for bubble tea. XD He had actually asked me out to lunch and I thought, “why not?”

He picked me up from the Kelana Jaya LRT in his green 2 door Vitara, and I felt a little self conscious. My first REAL LIFE impression of him; quiet which was the complete opposite of his alter-ego in Cyberspace. Our plan was to have McDonald’s for lunch then slurp on yummy bubble tea after that. We were too stuffed after that to eat or drink anything else, so we decided to call it a day.

A couple of days later, he called asking if I’d like to go grab that promised drink and so we did. We ended up talking and walking from Jaya, past the mosque, and back again TWICE. We talked about so many random stuff, I don’t remember what they were about anymore. But I do know he was the first guy to not flinch at the word marriage.

Then one fine day, he asked me how I felt about him (don’t remember when did this happened) and I guess the rest is history. 🙂

In these 7 years, we’ve been through a lot; LDR, laughter, tears… you name it, we’ve probably gone through it. I’m not perfect and he loves me even with all my flaws. He’s someone I’m extremely comfortable with and I can’t imagine life without him. So, here’s to 7 years and I hope there will be many more to come.